Apple Releases The iPod Ninja [Humor]

About a week ago, there was this dramatic/possibly fake episode about Apple CEO Steve Jobs going to Japan, picking up some ninja throwing stars (Shuriken), and then being denied boarding his own jet due to the Japanese airport policy regarding weapons.

Well, that came and went but what stuck in people’s minds was why on earth Jobs was bringing home a ninja weapon. At that point, most people wrote it off as a souvenir, but this week, the truth has been revealed!

This week, Apple has announced the “dangerously cool” iPod ninja. The iPod ninja is a razor-thin iPod that combines the fun of entertainment with the thrill of lethal weaponry!

It is also super easy to get your own iPod ninja, just follow the steps below:

1.) Show a photo ID

2.) Fill out a form

3.) Wait three days for approval by the National Criminal Background Check system

It’s that easy!

Here is what an Apple spokesperson had to say about all new iPod ninja,

“iPod ninja fits into that sweet spot between the iPod touch and a small handgun,” says Apple spokesperson Ted Wetmore. “It gives you peace of mind. You can either enjoy your music on the device — or you can fling it at anyone who looks at you funny. With a little practice, you can take down a foe at 50 feet.”

This is simply revolutionary, cutting-edge design! I am going out right now to buy one, but I am told to be careful of the iPod ninja “death grip”, which is reportedly worse than that found on the iPhone 4.

Are you getting an iPod ninja?


[Scoopertino]

Reports on iPhone news, reviews apps and accessories. Also an armed ninja with an iPhone 4S.

  • Damn right I am!

  • Anonymous

    I’m getting five. You can never have enough backup.

  • BHT

    I’m getting six. That way if we have a ninja battle, I will have a better chance of winning.

  • iParsa

    o crap…. I gotta get another iPod!!! 😉

  • Anonymous

    I smell a case already being developed for the Nano that looks just like this.

  • Just don’t hold it that way!

  • Anonymous

    Ninja death iPod alright which apple store handles criminal background checks

  • jdinner

    It’s really “Liquid Metal”

  • XD

    Trol
    XD