**EDIT** The following post was written as an April Fool’s Day joke in 2009.
The iPhone 4 is being released in Canada in “late July. Click here for more info.
After the incredible success of the iPhone 3G sales, A saavy iPhoneinCanada.ca reader earlier this morning emailed me a press release announcing a new iPhone 4G. Apple’s newest iPhone is scheduled to launch today, which brushed aside earlier rumors of a July launch at WWDC 2009!
A monumental leap for Rogers, and a sign that it is finally listening to its customers is the debut of what Rogers calls “Lifetime Contracts”. These new plans are intended to offer the best value for existing and new Rogers Wireless customers. Let’s skip the details and jump to the press release:
Apr 1, 2009 – Rogers Wireless Announces iPhone 4G and Lifetime Contracts
Sleek iPhone 4G in both 16GB/32GB models function as both business and social communications tool–yet, will also do your taxes.
>>
TORONTO, April 1 /CNW/ – Rogers Wireless and Apple today announced the Canadian availability of the iPhone 4G–the device that will soon be named “The Best Device Ever in All of Mankind” by Wired and Time Magazine.
A Revolutionary Design
The sleek, minimalist design of the iPhone 4G optimizes the user experience inside and out with a revolutionary 4.5″ touchscreen. The life-altering multi-touch will allow you one touch access to email, the best internet on a mobile device, a full calendar, iPod, stock app, weather, oven timer, baby monitor, compass, and more.
Taking the Rogers Wireless Line Up into the Heavens
The iPhone 4G is the thinnest smartphone in Rogers’ extensive line up of innovative mobile devices, which breaks from our current offering of every single Blackberry, Samsung, or LG phone ever made. The iPhone 4G will offer Canadians a range of functions for both their professional and personal needs.
iPhone OS 3.0 Enables Your Life to Be Taken Over by the iPhone 4G
With 4G wireless technology that takes advantage of Canada’s largest and fastest network, Canadians will experience GPS mapping, support for daycare services like Microsoft DiaperChange, and the new App Store, which puts even more incredible flatulence apps at your nose tips.
And like the previous iPhone 3G, it combines three amazing products in one–a revolutionary phone, a widescreen iPod, and a breakthrough Internet device with fantastic rich HTML email and a desktop-class web browser.
But wait, there’s one more thing. Apple is also introducing the debut of iPhone OS 3.0, which adds a stunning extra 1000 new features to your iPhone. Now, you can spend even more time neglecting and ignoring your wife, children, family, friends, and pets at the dinner table, or any annual social event of your choosing.
Designed for the Way We Live in Canada–A Dish Best Served Cold
“Canadians today live increasingly busy lives and the line between work and personal time is often blurred,” said newly appointed Rogers CEO, Madir Nohammed. “The iPhone 4G is a revolutionary device that proves technology does not have to limit personal time, but can rather enhance productivity. You wouldn’t believe it, but right now my iPhone 4G is back home baking a quiche in the oven and rearranging my furniture. It has changed my life.”
Introducing Another Breakthrough–The Value-laden, Game-Changing, Swagga-rich “Lifetime Contract”
Rogers Wireless is also pleased to announce another first from Canada’s largest and fastest wireless carrier–the new Lifetime Contracts for the iPhone 4G. After years of consultation within the Rogers Wireless division, and to be dedicated to the legacy of former CEO and business titan Ted Rogers, the company has introduced the Lifetime Contract.
Available only exclusively for the iPhone 4G, the Lifetime Contract is giving customers what they want–and Rogers is listening. “I recently returned from a road trip that took me from Victoria to St. John’s. Canadians have been talking and I’ve been listening. They want extra value in their voice and data plans, and we’ve introduced that with our new Lifetime Contracts. Starting today, Rogers Wireless customers can now get the iPhone 4G for FREE, as long as they sign away to a Lifetime Contract,” explains Rogers Wireless PR Director, Elizabeth Jones.
“The Lifetime Contract adds incredible value. Not only will you get an iPhone 4G free of charge, your Lifetime Contract will be passed onto your family once you are gone. That means your future children, family, and other benefactors will enjoy the commitment you made to Rogers, and they will also pass it on to their children’s children as well. I believe it offers the best value ever from Rogers, ever. As for iPhone 4G voice and data plans? Those are still being finalized, and will be announced at an undisclosed time and location, in order to make the plans complex enough so that only 1% of Rogers employees will be able to explain them–while sober,” says Ms. Jones.
Celebrate Canada’s Launch of the iPhone 4G–Today
What: In celebration of Canada’s iPhone 4G launch today, select Rogers Plus stores will roll out the red carpet offering customers a special breakfast event (consisting of No-Name juice boxes, and Handi-Snacks) and a chance to win one of many Rogers Wireless prizes including hot-ticket Live Nation concert passes, t-shirts, music CDs, umbrellas, lanyards, paperclips, hair ties, toothpicks, and more.
We’re pleased to announce Vancouver as the host event of our iPhone 4G launch, as part of our partnership with VANOC and Vancouver’s hosting of the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Where: Rogers Plus Store, 2097 West Broadway, Vancouver, BC
When: Wednesday, April 1, 2:00am-3:30am
Interview/Photo Op:
2:00am: Special breakfast activities for soon-to-be iPhone 4G owners in line and awaiting early store opening (we will have 3 staff on hand, and 1 computer).
2:30-2:50am: In-store product demo and interview opportunity with Rogers’ newest spokespersons, Swiss tennis great, Roger Federer, and Hollywood Movie critic, Roger Ebert.
2:59am: Countdown begins for early store opening.
3:00am: Doors open, first official iPhone 4G transaction in Vancouver, over our new secure and state of the art 14.4 baud cablemodem.
All I can say is: wow. I just got back from the Rogers Plus store on Broadway (it was so COLD and dark outside!) and secured myself a NEW iPhone 4G for free (plus I won a couple jars of No-Name Chunky Peanut Butter, and a box of Sesame Snacks)! All I had to do was sign the Lifetime Contract, which was a no-brainer! My family is going to LOVE me! Here are a few pics of my new iPhone 4G:
Anyone else see me in the line up? I tried to start a “Tweet Up” via Twitter, but nobody replied (I guess socializing with real humans in person instead of online is a better idea). Whatever, I got myself an iPhone 4G, now my life is complete! Anyone else score one this morning?
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing!
And if it detects that you have a cold, I heard it spoon feeds you chicken noodle cup-a-soup, yeah?
April Fool’s!
Wait the contract you got, is it the one that your family inherits and continues to pay even after you die?
You had me for a few minutes! Wouldn’t that be hilarious if this was how apple unveiled the nextgen iPhone?
More subtlety would have made the article funny ala The Onion but not bad all the same.
Ha, the joke was over after the first sentence. I didn’t bother reading the rest.
“Taking the Rogers Wireless Line Up into the Heavens.” LOL!
You had me for a second, only ’cause I just woke up! Nice one, Gary.
April fools! 😉
LOL nice
Funny stuff. Maybe not that unbelievable I can see some company doing something like this but not Rogers LOL
You ALMOST had me…almost…dang…
I think I’m the last one laughing here with my Lifetime Contract…DOH!
I’m waiting here at Rogers…strange there’s no one else here…woot woot…I can’t wait. Finally I’ll something before everyone else will. Hope the Roger’s sales folk get here quick cause there’s a bunch of kids on bikes looking at me not so nice. Um…this doesn’t look so good. I think they want my iPhone.
Sent from iPhone
Wow read it first thing this morning and only read abut a paragraph and you had me. I quickly forwarded it to a friend and after another sentence of reading I quickly realized I was hit with the old April Fools. Good one Gary!!! You had me for a bit.
good job.
i saw 4G, and then i knew theres no way for that to happen. lol.
You guys should really read the entire post, it’s the only way to get a true iphone 4G experience! 😉
Sent from my iPhone 4G
Sent from ur iPhone 4G eh! Haha :p
Lol
My leaped. Was about to retweet it. Then I woke up.
Lol ” Lifetime contrac ”
this sounds like one of cbc’s comedy spoof on the iphone. =P
You totally got me for like 5 minutes… I even called my friend to tell them. But when I hung up… I realized I was CRAZZZYYYYY.
Thanks… You got me.
I noticed Suarik posted that he sold Cydia to Microsoft. Another good one, but not nearly as beleivable.
A little long, but I like all the stuff about the Launch Event and the crappy snacks they handed out. Good stuff!
Didn’t know the iPhone 4G was coming so soon!
rogers iphone cost iPhone Data and Voice Plans
Monthly Fee $60* $75*
Voice Minutes Included 250 400
Data Included 1GB 2GB
Nights and Weekend Minutes (9pm) unlimited unlimited
plus 6.96 system access fee, 50 cent 911, 35 dollar connection fee
virgin pay as you go – no fees at all 0.00 no access fees, no connection fees
Ipod touch-with fring or u.s0 itunes skype voip calls free
you choose
Happy April Fools Day, haha!! It was believable until I read lifetime contract, lolzzz.
oh my.. well done,
you got me, you got me good
LOL you got me
you had me till the leaving contract for your family part.
hahaha I love it, esp about the part with the contracts so confusing only 1% of the employees understand, and the 3 staff and 1 computer in the store. I guess it’s only funny because i work for rogers.
Glad you enjoyed it, considering you work for Rogers. Forward this to the rest of your cronies and let them have a little giggle too, k? 😉
hahah shit I figured out that it was a joke when I read the comments, It’s also because it’s not april fools anymore so I fell for it completely!
i definately just got owned and it’s not even april fools anymore.
X2. I’m still regretting that about 2weeks ago I signed up for 3 years and paid 200 dollars when I find out today that iPhone 4g is only a month away from release. How long will of be till Canada releases it ?
Hahaha, nice. im gonna have to forward this to my work email, so other Rogers Employees can get a laugh out of this. And i'd like you to know that i'm quite good at explaining our voice and data price plans, cuz im usually sober when our customers call in. Lifetime contract though, that would end up being an interesting Early Cancellation Fee, not to mention Data Early Cancellation Fee !!! Seriously i want nothing to do with the iphone 3G or 3GS, but who wouldn't want a device that can make quiche! 😛
Hahaha, nice. im gonna have to forward this to my work email, so other Rogers Employees can get a laugh out of this. And i'd like you to know that i'm quite good at explaining our voice and data price plans, cuz im usually sober when our customers call in. Lifetime contract though, that would end up being an interesting Early Cancellation Fee, not to mention Data Early Cancellation Fee !!! Seriously i want nothing to do with the iphone 3G or 3GS, but who wouldn't want a device that can make quiche! 😛
What you fucks don't understand is that Rogers has the lowest Term Cancellation Fee in Canada. And both times when I got my iPhone 3g, then my 3GS, they gave me the full $500 discount towards the phone.
I have no idea why you're anal. You can't go to a fucking subaru dealership and ask them for a BMW for the same price as a subaru. Stick to what you can afford.
In making a three year contract Rogers has binded all customers to stay with outdated pohnes until the contract lapses. Those affected might have tov think twice before renewing their contract with Rogers. Fortubately new providers are emerging. This time you will not trap me.
Anyone else notice that he story says he's from Rogers yet the picture shows AT&T?…. FAKE AND GAY
haha april fools!!
that iphone looks so shit man like its a twig…and i think no one in right mind will want to buy that piece of crap
Sounds pretty convincing eh..? but for real I don`t need a liftime contract… what I do want is the phone itself.. no offence buds but for sure there will be more cool stuff coming in and out from different wireless carriers and for all we know the only permanent thing in this world is change, that`s why they evolve.
What is this? I already did . Where is my comment that I wrote?
Lifetime contract. How long warranty does the phone have. The phone lifetime may be about 3-5 years. Then I need
a new phone while I am stuck with a lifetime contract. So, this contract will not serve me in the long run unless I get
a new phone every 5 years guaranteed in the lifetime contract.
Happy April Fools' btw 😉
fuck off …that was a waste of my time.
I hate the mother f……. rogers company.
waste of money for life time contract
OMG!!! This posting is a year old and it's still fooling people! haha good job Gary…
I guess it helps the fact that there is a 4g coming out soon hehe
LOL! Glad you got a good read out of this hehe 😉
I remember reading this over a year ago and reading all the way to the last line before realizing. It got me again! Was Googling 4G rumors and found this. Great work, Gary 😉
PS. I am ridiculously excited for the 4G/HD. It's a no-brainer that it was simply a stunningly brilliant marketing ploy from Apple, but nonetheless, something big is coming within the next month and I'm going to be one of the first to get it! Are you as excited as me? I mean, VIDEO CALLING?! That will revolutionize the mobile phone industry the same way the iPhone revolutionized it in 2007 when it started the touchscreen trend. iasodhasudsnauasdsa